Sometimes, you find yourself outside your comfort zone. Sometimes, you've stepped so far away from your comfort zone that you can't remember where it is any more. At that point, it's all too easy to focus on that uncomfortable feeling, rather than give yourself credit for the courage you've shown.
I
don't ever forget how terrified I was, walking into that first modern
jive, salsa, bachata or kizomba class, though. I don't forget because,
honestly, I've just become better at hiding it as time has gone on.
What gets me there is the fact that, much against my expectations, I
love to dance. Also, the people I've met and got to know are so nice
that, when we dance, or if they come to talk to me, the fear goes away
for a while. A few have even managed to break through to the point
where I dare to ask them to dance. So, when one of those people invites
me to a Halloween party, there's the sense that not going along would
be letting them down. Knowing that the proceeds from the event go to
charity, I'm even more likely to attend.
If
I don't go, the thought that I might have had a good time will play on
my mind. After all, a number of people that I quite like will be there.
The worst case scenario is that I turn up, and sit alone, not having
the courage to talk or ask anyone to dance. Actually, the worst case
scenario is that I feel completely overwhelmed and have to leave early.
It's a very real possibility, and I don't expect anyone will
understand. Maybe they'll think I'm weird, because I showed up to a
party but wasn't really there in any way that was meaningful.
Thankfully,
this being a Halloween party, I have the option of covering my face,
and that helps: it'll get me through the door, anyway. I have to accept
that my courage may fail me at some point, but that's okay. There's a
good chance that I'll actually have a great night.
