It was three degrees this morning. A neighbour had decided that six o'clock was the right time to loudly play some hard dance music. When the alarm sounded at seven, I was already awake. Frost covered the roofs of buildings and cars. For the second morning in a row, I said a prayer asking for God's protection throughout the day.
I went for a walk before breakfast. It was still dark outside, but the way was lit by the piercing white LED street lights the local council apparently favours. An advertisement on a bus shelter caught my attention, as it seemed to carry a subliminal message which went against some of my core beliefs and made me feel decidedly uncomfortable.
After a while, the sky to the east became yellow, punctuated by horizontal lines of pink clouds. A deep blue spread overhead, slowly becoming a lighter, paler blue. There was some frost on the ground, but thankfully there were no slips. I reached the relatively quiet place where I practise karate and tai chi, when time permits. Two jackdaws perched on the roof of an old, disused stone building let out a few caws as they watched. The problems of the week faded from memory for a little while.
As I started the day by praying for God's protection, you might say I hold some beliefs that go against the current norms of the society in which I live. Those beliefs, however, are largely responsible for the empathy, consideration and respect that I have for others. Those beliefs include a non-judgemental attitude which allows me to more easily tolerate things in the world that go against my values, with neither approval nor condemnation.
Earlier in the week, there had been sadness and anger. The prayers for God's protection have had those feelings in mind as something from which protection is needed. Sadness can easily turn to despair, and anger to fury, especially given time to grow. I would judge no one for feeling these emotions, but it's important to be aware of the potential long-term effects they may have on us. It is, of course, impossible to avoid ever feeling sad or angry, but we can always learn how we might better manage these emotions.
It was during the coronavirus pandemic that I connected with my faith again. When the option of going to a church was taken away, I really wanted to go to church. It was a time where we all became a little more aware of the way our governments function, and the decisions they make on our behalf. There were many who used that time, when they essentially had a captive audience, to shape how we thought, felt and acted. Choosing to reconnect with my faith felt to some extent like an act of rebellion.
In the afternoon, I spent some time with three other people who have autism spectrum conditions. It was pleasant enough, though the food and drink in the coffee shop they had chosen as a meeting place was shockingly expensive.
Tomorrow may be more of a challenge. It's not something I can talk about here, but there's the potential for things to happen which may lead to more feelings of sadness and anger. I will pray for God's protection once more.
